Am I a narcissist?

The sentence lands, and it is often meant to. In an argument, “you are a narcissist” has become a common accusation, and it is made more often than it is true. At the same time it is sometimes right, and then it is a hint worth taking seriously. One thing first, because it is the most widespread worry: people with a pronounced narcissistic structure do not usually ask themselves this question. They see no reason to question themselves. The fact that you are here is in itself a counter-sign. It rules nothing out, but it puts things in perspective.

According to the EMOSOPHIE® of Marion Kohn, two opposite patterns grow from the same root: excessive self-centredness on one side, constant self-abandonment on the other. In both cases the trigger is an unresolved out-of-centre conflict. Whoever pushes responsibility outward slides one way, whoever takes it all on slides the other. That is why this test asks about both. It happens more often than people think that both sides are pronounced at once, and that in particular is a clear sign of an unresolved conflict underneath.

Marion Kohn points to a confusion she sees regularly in practice: people with a narcissistic imprint tick precisely the statements about self-sacrifice. Not because they sacrifice themselves, but because even the smallest thing done for someone else feels like a burden. They genuinely experience doing things for others as a sacrifice. That is why two of the statements here deliberately name their motive, and another one checks against it. If both occur together, the result says so openly and offers you two readings instead of imposing one.

Even a clear result does not say that you are a bad person, and it certainly does not say you have to stay this way. According to EMOSOPHIE® these patterns are not character traits but consequences of a conflict that can be resolved. And they depend on the relationship: the same person can react narcissistically towards one person and quite differently towards another.